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Alternative meanings with surreal leanings
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Talbot Inn (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: The Talby, Last beer for 3 miles, permanent paint → years since refit: 0
The Talbot Inn is a drinking establishment situated on the edge of the Chandag Region of Keynsham, in a district known as New Piddletown. Twinned with the New Inn, The Talbot Inn possesses the largest pub car park in Keynsham, and is a regular haunt for revellers preparing to embark on arduous drinking missions in nearby Bath. The Talbot Inn was named after a type of spotted dog, and former Ipswich Town player Brian.

Terrible Nations     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Texas Tea, tit for tat, tit for president → Estimated Cost of revenge: Credit Crunch
Terrible Nations is a term used by the war lords of the American United State (AMUNIST) to describe far-away hot countries that possess oil in their gardens. After some of the Terrible Nations were possibly to blame for having Weapons of Masturbation in their secret drawers, they were attacked in order to protect the oil from falling into the wrong hands.

People from Terrible Nations generally do things differently to other people, which means they are weird and therefore should be made to be more like the near-perfect Westerners. Any person from a Terrible Nation who boards an aeroplane to anywhere will be taken to a deathbed-and-breakfast 'holiday camp' in the sun and given a new boiler suit to wear.

Terry's Hardware     Icon Icon Icon
See also: narnia, aladdin's den, bruce's cave → Sample quote: "I'll have a look out the back"
Terry's Hardware was a famed retail outlet and history museum located in the Upper Queens borough of Keynsham. The shop was owned by an oft-laughing man named Terry Harding-Ware, and was famous for stocking replacement parts for most of the World's machines, including aeronautical and space-related spares. The shop is now a jazz cafe.

Toblerone Bridge (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: pyramids of Chichen Itza, the bandstand, The co-op foyer → Number of graffiti tags: 74
The Toblerone Bridge is an elevated river crossing situated in Keynsham Park, near Bath Hill Bridge, New Piddletown. The Bridge is shaped like a bar of Toblerone, and houses a big white pipe which is used to transport chocolate production waste to nearby reprossessing plants. Local chocolate mining company Cadburys initially objected to the name on account that Toblerones are produced overseas, but their stance has been relaxed somewhat of late. Several of Keynsham's tough blokes have been known to cross the river by straddling the apex of the bridge, though this is highly un-recommended as the Bridge is liable to Red Tape infections.

Trout Tavern (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Trout fest, The mutz nutz, uk subs, good pubs guide → distance to chinese: inches
The Trout Tavern is a much-loved and oft-frequented public house located in Temple Street, Keynsham. On Friday and Saturday nights, when the breeze blows from the north, the bands can be heard as far away as Midsomer Norton. The Trout Tavern has its own festival and is also a house upstairs.

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