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Hams (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: keys 'n' ham, amsterdam, ample room, houses on stilts → Twinned with: Venice
The Hams is a natural region of Keynsham, Somerset, bordered to the north by the River Avon, and containing the areas of Somerdale, the Humpty Tumps and the Crown Fields. The Hams is dissected by a railway line and Keynsham By-Pass, and is susceptible to flooding and Red Tape, which thrives in the fertile soil conditions. The Hams was formerly Keynsham's common land and is now the town's second-largest Area of Outstanding Development Potential (AODP). The Hams was awarded the Nice Place To Live prize by the Romans.

Handel Road     Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: the time tunnel, no entry, emergency services → Contains empty driveways? Yes
Handel Road is a tree-lined, residential rat-run located in Keynsham, England, and is famed for being the narrowest street in Somerset on account of its double-parked cars. Handel Road was named after the composer George Handel, who was born in the nearby clinic. It was formerly known as Narrow Lane.

Handymans (The)     Icon Icon Icon
See also: Handy Andy, Proper Job, Job Centre, Center Parcs → Proximity to shops: Close
The Handymans is a term used to describe a multi-storey shop in downtown Keynsham, near Keynsham Clock Tower. The Handymans sells hammers, wood and deckchairs, and is designed for builders who can't be bothered to drive to B&Q.

Hawthorns House     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Granny palace, The Village, Ron 'Dapper' Hill, 20-a-side footie → former site use: park
Hawthorns House is the name given to a substantial healthcare-related building located at The Rec in Keynsham. Owned by local entrepreneurs BANES, Hawthorns House was originally constructed by the Romans, but was recently demolished and rebuilt in the style of a Scandinavian sauna. Many of the town's older citizens reside within its walls, which are rumoured to be haunted.

Hicks Gate     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Hartcliffe, Magic, field of scrap metal, AODP → Days since last roadworks: 0
Hicks Gate is the name of a circular-shaped roundabout on the busy A4 road in Keynsham-upon-Chew-upon-Avon, and is the birthplace of Keynsham By-Pass. Hicks Gate is twinned with its smaller cousin Broadmead Roundabout to the east, and is rumoured to hold oil beneath its grassy confines. A number of brightly-coloured lights was recently installed to entertain congested motorists.

Recent alterations to the lane markings on the approach from Bristol have made it compulsory to execute a tricky three-lane switch whilst attempting to exit the roundabout via the Keynsham road. The culprit has yet to be reprimanded.

High Street (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Downtown, down the road, the strip, the shops → Number of roundabouts: 3.5
The High Street (officially known as 'Keynsham High Street') is the pedestrian-unfriendly central area of Keynsham, known for its charity shops and hideous traffic calming schemes. The High Street is home to a busker, several banks and a logic-defying non-roundabout at the junction of Charlton Road, known locally as The Circus.

A recent independent study revealed that most of the High Street's traffic congestion problems could be resolved if The Councils replaced the existing zebra crossing in Charlton Road with a 'wait-for-the-green-man' pelican crossing to control wayward, dallying pedestrians. The High Street has five arch-ways and is sometimes closed for sheep.

Humpty Tumps (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Stig of the dump, down in the dumps, off for a dump → Number of toilets: several
The Humpty Tumps (officially known as 'Keynsham Humpty Tumps') is an area of natural grassland and scrub, situated in The Hams region of Keynsham, near the Bath to Bristol railway line. When it isn't being used as a motorcylce scrambling track, the Humpty Tumps serves as an unprotected, ecologically-rich home for rare plants. The Humpy Tumps was named after the accident-prone leading character from the 1932 film All The Kings Men.

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