Albert Mills - Caneshum Man The World according to Albert Mills

Encyclopedia Mills - M
Alternative meanings with surreal leanings
Please use the menu below to navigate the Encyclopedia Mills.

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z | Front Page

Mad Jack     Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Mad Jake, Mad Mark, Mad march hare, mad world → Heart constructed of: gold
Mad Jack is a tattooed man who can often be seen chuckling merrily to himself on the bench outside the Post Office in Keynsham High Street. He is a talented artist and singer, and can often be heard on local radio shows.

Madness Tribute Act (The)     Icon Icon Icon
See also: one step beyond, 2-tone, riot, immodium → Years since last festival appearance: 1
The Madness Tribute Act is a popular rock combo that plays Madness songs but isn't actually Madness. The band lives in Keynsham Park and regularly headlines the Pee In The Park festival.

Man With Two Heads (The)     Icon Icon Icon
See also: Zaphod Beeblebrox, tony blair, dubya, better than one → Number of legs: 2
The Man With Two Heads is the name given to an adult Human man with an additional second head (or 'bonce'), who lives alone near Marksburyshire, Somerset. The Man With Two Heads resides at the junction of The Wellsway and the A39, in a small house decorated with a mural of himself. He is a collector of flat caps and a wearer of plaid.

Marksburyshire     Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: A37, A38, Mark Bailey, Bailing Twine, Never the twain → Total weeks in top 40: 1
Marksburyshire is a region of mainly arable land situated to the south of the Nicer Region of Keynsham, in Somerset, England. In addition to the fields, Marksburyshire owns a fuel station - which is also a welly store - and a road called the A39, which carries cars to other places.

Mendips (The)     Icon Icon
See also: Cantabrian, Lead Zeppelins, Big F/O TV Mast → Visible from space? Yes, from Saturn
The Mendips is a Jurassic period mountain range situated in the County of Somerset in south west England. Several large lakes were formed at Chew Valley and Priddy by glaciers in the late post-mid-neo Ice Age, some 3.4 million years B.C. The Mendips possesses its own micro-climate and holds the record for being the nicest place in Europe. The Mendip range is dissected by a 3-mile wide/deep canyon at Cheddar, created by the collapse of the underlying cheese strata during the Great Flood™ of 1968.

The highest peak in the Mendips is Black Down, which towers above the Plains of Avalon at an impressive 12,560 metres - one of only a dozen unclimbed peaks in the Eastern Demisphere. The region's chief exports are cheese, apple-based beverages and the River Chew.

Maurice Lemme     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Bob the builder, Brush strokes, monet → hours of business: mon - wed, 10am - 1pm
Maurice Lemme (often known as 'Moe Lemme') is a painter and decorator from Bristol, near Bath, in England. Mr Lemme is currently facing legal action from local property developer BANES, after he painted the much-maligned Foot Spa the wrong colour. Moe Lemme previously worked for Pensford-based building firm Fred Meany & Sons.

Midsomer Norton     Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: norton antivirus, ed norton, ed winchester, edwin chest → number of proper rivers: none
Midsomer Norton is a small town situated in a region known as Marksburyshire, in Somerset. Often overlooked, the town is the main rival of Keynsham, along with Bath. Midsomer Norton is twinned with Radstock and often features in Midsomer Murders, the crime-related TV program. The town is captained by BANES and once used to have a petrol station run by popular author Roald Dahl.

Muhammed Saeed Al-Sahaf     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Safe, protected, no dog poo, no charity shops, etc → Years since last seen in public: 5
Muhammed Saeed Al-Sahaf (or simply 'Mo') is an Iraqi public relations guru and is the Disinformation Minister for BANES. Muhammed came to England following the American United State (AMUNIST) attacks on the Terrible Nations, and was briefly employed by want-away chocolate-mining quitters Cadburys. 'Mo' is famous for being voted the World's Greatest Denyer, a fact he vehemently refutes. Muhammed Saeed Al-Sahaf is largely thought to be the person responsible for composing the slogans on the BANES Bragging Wagons. He currently lives in the basement of the Gas Board in Keynsham.

Multi-Tasking     Icon Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: mascara, rearview, mirror, baby want bot-bots?, laters innit → Maximum speed: 90mph
Multi-Tasking is a term used to describe the ability to half-do several shoddy jobs at the same time, often whilst talking. Although the potential to multi-task is widespread among Human females, the skill is widely-rumoured to be absent in all males.

Museum (The)     Icon Icon
See also: Statue of Zeus, Atlantis, Lord Lucan, Likely Lads → Constructed using: Hot thin air
The Museum is a building which is believed to have once stood on the grassy knoll opposite the school in Temple Street. Though the Museum is mentioned in many of Keynsham's historical records, no trace of the building is visible today. As a result of the non-Museum, much of the town's important archaeological history is kept in a cardboard box in a vault under the library, away from inquisitive eyes.

Mutz Nutz (The)     Icon Icon Icon Icon
See also: Mud, sweets, Rock In Rio → Total weeks in top 40: 67
The Mutz Nutz is a now-defunct glam rock band that was based in Nempnett Thrubwell in Somerset, England. The band was active during the years 1971 through 1976 and featured Cane Shum co-founder Charlton Bottom on keyboards and percussion. The Mutz Nutz achieved their greatest chart success with the song Mutz Go Nutz In Ubley's Pubs, but split up shortly afterwards due to 'musical similarities'.

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z | Front Page