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Issue 4 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham January 2004
STILL A KEYNSHAM SITE FOR CANE SHUM PEOPLE

'There may be trouble ahead...' "WELCOME TO the first edition of 2004. Consuming the turkey mountain left us weary and confused, causing us to abandon our 'Start Of The Month' publication policy in favour of a new 'When We Feel Like It' idiom. We almost did a mischief attempting to get the T-SHIRTS into the shops before Xmas, but we acheived our mission aim in the nick of time. Who'd be Net Gurus eh?"

The big news story of the festive period had to be the Town Hall catching fire. It was on the teletext and everything! We rushed to the scene armed with cameras and notebooks, fully expecting to catch the inferno in it's wild glory. How disappointed we were to see what, after careful scientific analysis, amounted to bugger all. There's no fire without smoke. There's no fire at all it seems.

So cancel the newspapers, pull up a comfy computer and join us in our silly little make believe world that has come to be known to the people of this planet as Cane Shum. We hope you enjoy your stay. Please drive carefully through our site. Happy 2004.

CANE SHUM NEWS HEADLINES...
CANE SHUM FOR THE COUNCIL! | CADBURY'S 'DO A MARS' | LEEDS UTD FOOTBALL FEVER!!
NO EXIT FOR MAD MATRIX MAN | COD FORBID! | I'M THE FIRESTARTER, TWISTED FIRESTARTER!
'There is no loss-making bus service in Keynsham.'
ALSO IN THIS MONTH'S FANTASTIC FOURTH EDITION...
MUHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF appears to be working for BANES, ANNA CACIA-COURT hits out at back-street parkers, the Keynsham WEBCAM, the regular readers' LETTERS, a round-up of BRIEF NEWS, the January WEATHER and a whole heap MORE.

MERCHANDISE
Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
They're selling like hot cakes in Keynsham and Bath - Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-shirts are on sale now! FULL DETAILS

THE MONTHLY MOAN
Anna Cacia-Court hits out at the park-and-commute workers clogging our residential streets with their cars. READ MORE

AL-SAHAF IN KEYNSHAM
His ex-boss has been nicked by the Yanks, and now the former Iraqi Dis-Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf seems to be working for the council. Shocker! GO TO MO!

KEYNSHAM WEB CAM 4
The Cane Shum web cam is stuck in traffic at the Hicks Gate roundabout. VIEW IT

WEATHER FORECAST
Find out what the elements have in store for Keynsham in January. VIEW WEATHER

KEYNSHAM IS ACE!
We love Keynsham! If you need reminding, CLICK HERE

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The World according to Albert Mills - Proudly clogging up the arteries of the Internet with satirical nonsense since 2003