What the bloody hell is happening down the town centre then? Everything is disappearing. First the phone boxes went missing, then the CLOCK TOWER got nicked and now we lost the farmers market. I know it wasn't much to speak of, but that little collection of stalls brought glamour and life to our High Street of a Friday. Not that I seen any farmers being sold, but it were good nonetheless. Cheap too.

It do make I laugh it does. If they builds one of they bleedin' gurt Hypo-Markets on that gravel patch 'round the back of the Legion, it'll be like a market seven days a week 'round here. Then the shop keepers will be wishing they'd kept their traps shut, 'cos nobody will even bother with the High Street, especially if they sells them lovely Latty coffees in the store cafeterial. Them Keynsham shops would have eggs on their faces, and on their shelves too. They can 'ave their cakes and eat 'em. Serves 'em right I say.

There's people in hot countries what would kill to 'ave a market on a Friday. They'm all starving, see. But over 'ere, we turns away a perfically good one just 'cos it were dead cheap and all that. I sez if the shops don't want us to have it they should all bring their stock outside once a week and sell it cheaper. Then we'd all be happy. For a bit.
Hugo Kairfall, aged 41, Cane Shum.