The market, which occupied the town centre every Friday, came under flak from local retailers who were unhappy with the competition it provided. One local un-named trader commented: "We simply can't compete with these stall holders. We want the new market to help us, not hinder us." In keeping with the wishes of these shop owners, BANES is thought to be considering a 'phantom market' that doesn't actually sell anything.
Speaking to
Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum, BANES' Jemima Pointier told us: "The best way to keep all parties happy would be to reinstate the market, but to have no actual product being sold. That way people would be attracted to the town, yet forced to buy from the shops. Plus we could still keep the 'Historic Market Town' bit on the signs, meaning more money for the BANES annual piss-up in Libourne."
Cadbury's: Heroes?
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However, rumours have begun to circulate that suggest local firm Cadbury's may be ready to step in to save the market. These 'Chinese Whispers' - that is, originating from drunken folk in the town's numerous Chinese take-aways - seem to imply that the town's major employer could be poised to take over the ailing market, selling 'organic locally-grown products', in keeping with the Council's wishes as outlined in their recent
press release.
According to the BANES report, the Council is "Keen to keep a market culture going in Keynsham, which is after all a market town." If the speculation is to be believed, the confectionery barons would sell a range of 'locally-grown' chocolate products every Friday, from a specially-built van adjacent to where the
clock tower used to stand. We tried to contact Cadbury's but their receptionist said that no-one was available for comment as they were "trying to sort out a problem with the Mini Eggs." The trial continues.
Albert Mills