Caution: High speed granny wagons ahead

Now don't misunderstand me, I've got nothing against the elderly and disabled - I've got many friends that fit into one or both of these categories - but our sidewalks are becoming busier than the roads themselves. Only last weekend, whilst gaining some much-needed 'retail therapy' with my husband and six children, our dear little 4-year-old Alegenon was nearly mown down by one of these lethal contraptions in the vacinity of Oxfam - it's 'driver', arms straight, head back (as if overcome by the G-force), snarling toothlessly at all law-abiding pedestrians to "Get outta the way". Such recklessness and disregard for fellow footpath users should surely carry some sort of penalty. Isn't there a Highway Code for these 'calamity carts' to obey?

I feel that this particular gentleman's rudeness is but the tip of the iceberg. What I want to know is, if the elderly, when handed the keys to these battery-powered menaces, have undergone any formal training? Many of them probably haven't held a driving licence for years, if at all! I'm not one to cause a fuss but I do feel duty-bound to ask Downing Street to consider a white paper outlining the laws and regulations for use of these 12-volt battering rams. For example, a thorough eye examination should be mandatory.

I'd also like to suggest that a yearly pavement tax should be introduced, regardless of the OAP-derived backlash that could ensue. After all is said and done, these queue-jumpers get their TV licence at half price yet they watch more television than the rest of us. Just walk through the Hawthorns and you'll hear everything from 'This Morning' to 'Countdown' blaring out of every warden-controlled home at volumes to drown out an approaching Concorde. Trying to look frail and stupid is no excuse - if we don't act now somebody is going to get seriously maimed by one of these reckless pavement pilots. And while you're at it, maybe you could clamp down on skateboarders and cyclists too. It's for the good of everyone that we do something soon, because it's bound to end in tears. Anna Cacia-Court