Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum - Save 25 Pence The Easy Way

After years of fruitless Indiana Jones-style searching for 'The Lost Free Parking Of Keynsham', we have stumbled across something resembling this elusive beast in a Somerset backwater. Trudging high and low, far and wide in this quest for a cash-free place to park the car, we here at Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum have located the once bold statement of our wonderful town - 'Keynsham, Free Car Parking'.

We feel it's our duty as local residents to share the location of this fabled grail with all and sundry. So here goes - where to find this free car parking and save some cash. Maps and compasses at the ready folks!

First off, follow Charlton Road south out of Keynsham and onto the A37. Then, just before you get to Pensford, turn right onto the B3130, past 'The Stones' at Stanton Drew, round the cricket pitch at Chew Magna and low and behold, bold as brass, there stands the vision of our former independence. Shining there before your very eyes, a 'Free Car Park' sign.

Once you've parked the car (no need to lock it - thieves don't exist out in the sticks) take a brisk 10km walk back to the High Street, pop into Somerfield, grab some veggies in Buss's, new trainers in Shoe Fayre and off you trot back to your car after gloating in the general direction of them Parking Wardens over your 25 pence saving. We understand this cash saving tactic may add a few hours to your 'pop down the street', but hey, you saved 25p! Bang on!

Naturally, the native tribe in Chew Magna (the Cromagnians) will be a bit peeved at having to drive to Keynsham in order to park their cars, but what the heck - it'll bring much-needed extra shoppers to our beloved town in the wake of the infamous 'disappearing market'. Charlton Bottom