Issue 3 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham December 2003
CONGESTED? COUGH UP

'Stand and deliver' (Click to enlarge)
Dick Turpin not pictured (Click to enlarge)
In a set-to-be controversial manoeuvre, BANES has released details of the latest phase of it's 'Cash Flow Increase Initiative'. Falling in line with central London, motorists driving into Keynsham centre will be hit by a new 'BANES Congestion Charge'.

With so many ideas on how to sort out Keynsham’s 'traffic in the High Street problem' already on the table, BANES have decided to introduce the new £5-per-day congestion charge in order to, according to one BANES worker: "Make a little cash, while we think about what to do". When we contacted the council to question them on the subject, an employee told us: "I don’t know nothing about that, but I guess it will give me a better chance of a pay rise next year. I assume it will get people to use the bypass, at last!"

Make all cheques payable to 'BANES'
Wallets out
Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum hit the streets with clipboard in hand this week and asked Keynsham residents what they thought of the forthcoming scheme. Here are a few publishable comments:

Mr P Fruitbat told us: "That's a bleedin' joke, surely?". Ms E Lay commented: "Well if nobody drives though the High Street, its gunna effect my business. It's an outrage." Mr Samuel Arsey informed us: "I think this scheme is great, I don't have to come here, so 'tiz no problem for me..." (Mr. Arsey is a BANES councillor, working in Midsomer Norton).

Maybe this move is designed to encourage drivers to use the bypass, and possibly to get some people to use the 'Dial-A-Ride' bus service, making our high street a safer, less-congested and pleasant place to shop. Maybe it's just another way to fleece Joe Public in a move similar to the scrapping of the town's famous 'Free Parking'. The last time BANES hit the news was when they had their last stupid idea... Charlton Bottom


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