In a report conducted by Professor Wolfgang Muntz of the Austrian Institute for Seismic Studies, it was discovered that there is a 79% likelihood that the bridge, responsible for carrying the main A4 Keynsham by-pass over the River Chew, could be reduced to nothing more than a twisted pile of rubble and iron should a 10-scale 'quake hit the region. Alarmingly, the bridge has no in-built resistance to such an event.
Commenting on his findings, Muntz revealed that "a major tremor centered within a 3-mile radius of the town would almost certainly collapse the structure." He went on to add that many other buildings in the sleepy commuter town would also meet their fate. "There appears to be little or no provision for seismic events of this scale in the architecture of the buildings in the region. The by-pass bridge is a perfect example of this - I cannot see this construction withstanding this kind of activity. Even a smaller tremor could bring it down."
'Them pesky kids...'
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Speaking exclusively to
Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum, Jemima Pointier of Bath & North East Somerset Council (BANES) was quick to highlight recent measures taken to avoid this kind of catastrophe. "We have undertaken a scheme of extensive preventative actions in relation to the by-pass bridge. High-tensile paint was used when the strengthening graffiti was applied 2 years ago. Additionally, we have planted 5 new trees in the immediate area to shore up the foundations. BANES is committed to public safety. We are always seeking out new methods to secure the well-being of our residents. We're on the case mate."
Representatives for the company responsible for the construction of Echo Bridge™ - Fred Meany & Sons of Pensford - declined to comment when questioned last night. The bridge last hit the headlines in the 1980's when a young Keynsham man became stranded in the bridge's apex whilst 'retrieving a cricket ball'. He was later freed by traffic wardens.
Albert Mills
Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum 
