Issue 7 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham May 2004
KEYNSHAM NEWS HEADLINES - APRIL 2004
'Oooh, me 'puter ain't working roight'
HACKED BY THE CHANDAGS
The Wellsway Liberation front strikes out at Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum by hacking into and vandalising this very website at the start of last month, causing wobbles in the stock market both here and in the States. A worried Albert Mills investigates. READ THE FULL REPORT

A LOAD OF BATH TURDS Where there's muck there's shite
There was yet another outbreak of uproar among Keynsham residents this week as it emerged that the town is going to be besieged with excrement from our Roman-loving neighbours in Bath. READ MORE
NOAH ENTRY TO TRAFFIC 'Nice weather for ducks - nice street for 'em too'
In a radical move to increase the number of punters in Keynsham Town Centre, the local Council have unveiled ambitious plans to give the main drag a Venice-style makeover. FULL STORY & EXCLUSIVE PICTURE

ROAD TAX REBATE GLEE FOR DRIVERS 'How long will this be 'temporary'?'
Keynsham's motorists danced cartwheels in the street this week as it emerged that they will all be receiving a road tax rebate following the Highway Department's decision to leave the town's roads to rot. MORE
LAST TIME AT THE BAR PLEASE! 'That's yer lot gents!'
The town's drinkers were crying into their pints this week as it emerged, via a leaked EU document, that Keynsham has one too many pubs, meaning certain demolition for one unlucky inn. READ FULL REPORT

'Do I get my 200 quid now?'
ALSO IN THIS MONTH'S EDITION...
MUHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF is away, so step forward Mr Bill Bailey, ANNA CACIA-COURT has a big heap of issues, the brand new CITIZEN CANE column tackles leisure, the WEBCAM, the LETTERS, bit of BRIEF NEWS, the May WEATHER forecast and much MORE.

KEYNSHAM WEB CAM 7
The Cane Shum web cam is at the railway station as part of the Search for Intelligent Rail Travel (SIRT). VIEW IT

AL-SAHAF IN KEYNSHAM
The BANES Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf takes a break, leaving Bill Bailey to carry out his duties. Heaven help us! MORE

WEATHER FORECAST
The weather forecast for May, with our in-house, atmosphere-questioning ether beaver Albert Mills. VIEW THE WEATHER

MERCHANDISE
Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
On sale now at 'Only Fools & Horses' - our exclusive Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-shirts! FULL T-SHIRT DETAILS